An Unexpected Meeting

[tossingtrashcans]

Shizuo shifted around a little, than nudged Kasuka back softly, watching him sit between his legs. He wanted to look his brother in the eye. Was he going to tell him the truth or just make up a random story to tell him? With a soft sigh he decided that the truth was the best. Granted he wasn’t even sure if it was the true, but it was a factor that much he was sure of.

“Kasuka” he said softly as he took the milk bottle from his brother’s hand and set it aside. His hand reached back out and took the smaller hand into his, looking at their hands. Holding hands was something they did when they were really little. It’d been much to long since they had done it, but that wasn’t going to stop him from doing it now.

“I simply don’t have one cause I don’t think I need one and nor do I want one.” Shizuo said softly as he looked his brother in the eye before he continued,

“I’m also not sure if I…want a girlfriend.” he sighed softly as his gaze shifted, laying their hands on his knee. He wasn’t against dating a woman, per say. He wasn’t totally opposed to the fact that he might be interested in the same sex as well. It was something that he had been thinking about on and off for a while now. It kind of hit him one night. His brother was right, he didn’t have a girlfriend and he did have time for one, but he just hasn’t found anyone, male or female, that was really sparked his interest. Well, actually that wasn’t entirely true. There was one person he was kind of interested in, but there was no way that man was going to be interested in him. Not in that kind of way.

“I’m alright, like this.” Shizuo said softly then, “I’d rather not go looking for things and become distracted by such things. Which is why I’m assuming you don’t have a girlfriend, so you’re not distracted? I mean there is plenty of girls out there I’m sure that would throw themselves at you, Kasuka. You’re a handsome, sweet and thoughtful man. Any woman would be silly to not want you.” he said truthfully.

His bigger thumb lightly caressed the back of Kasuka’s hand. The soft skin of his brother’s hand was like silk against his thumb. His hand had been lightly calloused from all the heavy lifting and work that he had done. His hands were so unlike his brother’s hands, mainly yet soft. There was a light hunt of blush across his face as he finally caught himself in his thoughts. He refused to let his brother’s hand unless Kasuka was the one that pulled back. All he did was turn his head a little, hoping that Kasuka wouldn’t catch him.

[Deleted]

Kasuka drew his face away from his brother’s chest to show he was paying attention to his words, his abyss like eyes only wavering for a fraction to see what had touched his hand. If he was surprised to see Shizuo grasping it, his blank face didn’t betray him. The last time he remembered doing this was when they were rugrats. Shizuo never cried when he continuously hurt himself, but Kasuka had always leant over the hospital bed to tightly squeeze his hand whenever it appeared to be too much to bear.

He frowned thoughtfully to himself, and even though his brother wasn’t looking his way anymore, Kasuka kept a close watch on his face. The years hadn’t been kind to him. Not just the hunch in his posture, but there were deep panda marks under Shizuo’s eyes, indicating stress and obvious lack of sleep. There were lines that hadn’t been on his forehead before, and Kasuka wouldn’t have been surprised to see patches of premature grey flecking his hair if it hadn’t been bleached blonde so many times. His life had hardly started, yet the hard knocks were starting to show.

So he didn’t want a girlfriend. Even though he had proposed the question, Kasuka had almost expected that answer.
“You’re right, anyone would be silly not to want me. Unfortunately they only want me because I’m famous and have money,” Kasuka corrected him with honesty. He had yet to met a person who could dig deep than face value. It didn’t make him feel isolated, or sad of the shallowness of humanity. Loneliness, being surrounded by people. He didn’t care. It was all the same to Kasuka. He was like a trickle of water, simply moving from one place to the other, unbothered by the circumstances. Kasuka wasn’t an introvert, nor was he shy. He was in an unknown category all to himself.

“It’s not that I’d be distracted. More like. . .the media would have a field day if I got into a relationship,” Kasuka nodded silently. He’d seen it happen enough in the tabloids, actors and their partners being torn apart, home lives exposed, never being able to live a quiet life. Kasuka was used to that kind of treatment. The other person however. . “I wouldn’t wish any of that abuse on my partner.”

Kasuka felt himself relax as Shizuo lightly stroked his hand. The gentle sensation was soothing, and he probably could have leant back, closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. He gave Shizuo’s hand a reassuring squeeze to show him it was okay.

[tossingtrashcans]

Shizuo shouldn't have expected anything different from his brother. He really was something else, which was good. He valued his brother and his thoughts on things. If he felt that having a girlfriend was a bad idea, he'd be okay with that.

“I understand that.” Shizuo said then softly. “It really wouldn't be fair to shove someone into the lime light. That is your choice and bringing someone into that, it's not fair on them.” The thing was, it really wasn't. This was something that Kasuka did by his own choice. Though he guessed he could be with someone and keep everything hush hush, but that was almost harder then dealing with things publicly. He just didn't want to see his little brother have to go through something like that. So, maybe for now, things were best as they were.

It was then that his stomach seemed to grumble from the lack of food that Shizuo hadn't eaten today. He nervously laughed and then sighed,

“Sorry about that.” he said softly. “Seems it's food time.” he added. His thumb still rubbing softly against Kasuka's hand.

“If your hungry we can go and get something.” Shizuo suggested before he added, “Unless you want to stay in here and I can go and get something for us. Just pick the place.” he said, a soft smile on his face as he looked at Kasuka. Course he had no idea that he was smiling, but Kasuka would. It seemed he only smiled when he was around his brother. It was just the way things were.

For as far back as he could remember, he always had a smile for his brother. Even after he tried to throw a refrigerator at him. He forgave his brother for eating the pudding that clearly had his name on it a week later when Kasuka had brought them both a pudding home from the store. It was a simple moment in his past that he'd always remember.

Back on the food topic, he blinked as he looked at Kasuka.

“So, about that food?”

[Deleted]

Food did sound like a good idea. It was growing steadily darker outside, in a few hours it would be completely black. Kasuka hadn’t told anyone where he’d run off to. Sooner or later he would have to tell his manager, least he have kittens.

He returned his brother’s smile, his much more subtle, considering his options. “As long as it’s cold, I don’t mind,” it was still summer, and the nights were hot and humid. “You better go out and get it; I don’t want any of the media spotting me coming out of someone’s apartment,” the kinds of stories that would surface would be nightmarish. Nor did he relish the idea of putting on his wig and glasses again. His head had itched enough for one day.

That meant his brother would have to get up and go. It slowly dawned on Kasuka that he would have to let go of his hand. He glanced down, squeezing Shizuo’s hand on reflex, baffled by the sudden feeling. ‘Feeling’ meant in the loosest term possible. He didn’t want his brother to go.

[tossingtrashcans]

Shizuo nodded in agreement. It would actually be best if he went out alone. The desire to move from the spot he was in right now wasn't high enough though. He liked sitting here like this with his little brother. It had been a long while since such things had happened.

“It is best I'd think.” he said then verbally agreeing, “Wouldn't want you bum rushed by a bunch of people out and about.”

“Something cold though huh? I could just got to Russia sushi and get to platters if your okay with that. It's been long enough that I can eat their again.” Shizuo wasn't going to admit that he had actually just ate there the other night for dinner. As it was though, he ate there at least once a day. Just a sense of stability. He liked that he had somewhere he could always go and not get pushed away cause of his temper. Simon had a way of making sure he remained calm... most of the time. Something he was rather thankful for, normally anyway.

The pressure he felt on his hand was comforting in the warmest way. Had he not known any better he'd think that his cheeks might have been lightly pinked by the action. Then again that couldn't be right he was Shizuo after all and Shizuo didn't blush for nothing. Expect for small actions from his brother is seemed. Something he couldn't seem to help no matter how hard he tried.

After he was sure his face was back to normal he looked back to Kasuka's face.

“Sushi then?” he said wanting to see if his brother was alright with that for dinner. He would also stop and pick up a few extra things on his way. Wanting to make sure Kasuka was comfortable while he was here. The last thing he wanted for his brother to not want to come back.

[tossingtrashcans]

Shizuo nodded in agreement. It would actually be best if he went out alone. The desire to move from the spot he was in right now wasn't high enough though. He liked sitting here like this with his little brother. It had been a long while since such things had happened.

“It is best I'd think.” he said then verbally agreeing, “Wouldn't want you bum rushed by a bunch of people while out and about.”

“Something cold though huh? I could just got to Russia sushi and get to platters if your okay with that. It's been long enough that I can eat their again.” Shizuo wasn't going to admit that he had actually just ate there the other night for dinner. As it was though, he ate there at least once a day. Just a sense of stability. He liked that he had somewhere he could always go and not get pushed away cause of his temper. Simon had a way of making sure he remained calm... most of the time. Something he was rather thankful for, normally anyway.

The pressure he felt on his hand was comforting in the warmest way. Had he not known any better he'd think that his cheeks might have been lightly pinked by the action. Then again that couldn't be right he was Shizuo after all and Shizuo didn't blush for nothing. Expect for small actions from his brother is seemed. Something he couldn't seem to help no matter how hard he tried.

After he was sure his face was back to normal he looked back to Kasuka's face.

“Sushi then?” he said wanting to see if his brother was alright with that for dinner. He would also stop and pick up a few extra things on his way. Wanting to make sure Kasuka was comfortable while he was here. The last thing he wanted for his brother to not want to come back.

[Deleted]

Kasuka was still trying to priorities his thoughts, intense gaze directed at Shizuo’s chest. As a result, for the first time in almost ever, he missed half of what his brother was saying to him. Although Kasuka always had an unnerving, blank expression that one could interpret as not paying attention, the boy was in fact possibly the complete opposite. He spent so much time with his mouth shut, his ears and eyes were open twice as much of someone else.

“What?” Thankfully, he managed to catch the very last thing Shizuo said. In hindsight, it was probably the only relevant thing he needed to pay attention to throughout the blonde’s rambles. “Oh,” his eyes snapped back up to his brother’s face, and for a split second, his icy mask cracked. A genuine expression of shock. Still plagued with a strange desire to not let Shizuo out of the apartment, he knew to deny those feelings he had to push him away now. Swiftly letting go of Shizuo’s hand, Kasuka stood up, retreating to the opposite chair.

He wasn’t used to dwelling over thoughts. His mind was a little like a shimmering cauldron. Like small bubbles rising then popping on the surface. And just like his thoughts, very briefly he would mull over them, before they would disappear back into the depths of his mind to be forgotten. Over thinking something. It was a disturbing, almost frightening thing to experience. Kasuka supposed if he was ever to get emotional, Shizuo would be the cause of it. Maybe this wasn’t surprising at all.

Awkwardly, Kasuka realised he hadn’t even finished his sentence. “Sushi would be nice,” he agreed, at least glad that his strange behaviour couldn’t be interpreted with his pokerface. Then again, if it was going to be one person to notice something was wrong with him, it would be Shizuo. “As long as you bring back takuyaki,” Kasuka added with a smile. “Have a safe trip.”

[tossingtrashcans]

Shizuo felt almost...empty when Kasuka suddenly pulled away from him. Nothing he could do about it though, he just watched him take up a seat else where. Something didn't see right though. The more he looked at Kasuka the more Kasuka seemed to be lost in thought. He had no choice up to shrug it off.

He stood up and stretched out, cracking his back lightly as he did so. He nodded to Kasuka then walked around the coffee table, past the chair and grabbed his sunglasses and slipped them on.

“I should be to long.” he said lightly. “You are more then welcome to anything in the house. Not that I have to much.” he added just as lightly.

With a few steps he headed over for the door before he turned around and looked at him quickly. He slid the door behind him then stepped down and pulled his shoes on, grabbed house keys then walked out of the apartment.

Once he was out, he locked the door then pulled out his pack of smokes. He drew one out with his lips then light it. After taking a hit he exhaled then headed down the hallway to the stairs, then out the main gate.

He casually walked down the streets as he smoked, wondering.

It was weird for Kasuka to just change in a drop of a hat. Normally he always eased into his changes. His movements and otherwise. Who was he to judge anyway. He continued his way on to get the sushi with takuyaki. He might also stop and get a few other things. Ice cream sounded good and he'd stop and get that and pudding on his way back home.

On his trip he waved to a few people and nodded to others, he looked up and waved to Simon as he ducked into the sushi place and got the platters.

After he was finished he called out a 'C-ya' to Simon then headed back home carrying the sushi.

Within a decent distance away he light him a third cigarette this trip and smoked it as he headed for the local store. Being lucky in his timing he put it out and tossed the bud away as he entered the store. He waved to the check out woman, walked over, grabbed vanilla and chocolate pudding then made sure to get the chocolate seduction ice cream before he checked out then headed back to the apartment.

Shizuo wondered what Kasuka did while he waited in the apartment, but it seemed he'd find out soon enough. With the code in, he walked through the gate and headed for the stairs then down the hallway.

Setting the bag of ice cream down he unlocked the door then walked inside.

“I'm back. I also got some other things for us for later.” Shizuo called out, set the second bag down, closed and locked the door behind him, kicked his shoes off, slid the door that lead into the hallway open then stepped up and headed down the hallway. Waiting for his brother's voice to tell him were he was.

[Deleted]

As the door clicked shut, a stifling silence quickly transcended around Kasuka. It was a sound he was quite familiar and accustomed too. Those times alone in his bedroom as a child, or now as an adult, when he was in his apartment block by himself. A huge space only occupied by his presence and the silence
Kasuka wasn’t shun into isolation, it wasn’t because he was unable or found it difficult to interact with others, it was simply a life style he chose for himself. Kasuka was quite aware he didn’t act like normal people did, so as a courtesy to make others feel less uncomfortable around him, he decided to keep to himself most of the time.

He sat without moving for about five minutes, mind not really settling on anything, until he decided to get up and take another look around the small apartment. Not particularly interested in the living room or kitchen, Kasuka instead poked his head into Shizuo’s bed room. He had only briefly looked into it on the quick tour of the house.

It was just the same as the rest. Blank walls, and sparsely decorated. The only things really in the room were the futon, built in wardrobe and a small desk of drawers. If Kasuka had opened the wardrobe, he would have found replicas of his familiar bartender outfit, some more casual clothes and a whole lot of dust. The younger brother wasn’t very interested in poking around his brothers private business, and instead rolled his eyes at the mess of his futon. He was immediately transported back to when they were kids. Shizuo had always had the messy habit of never rolling away his futon, nor folding the sheets up after himself.

Shaking his head slightly, Kasuka knelt to the ground, and out of habit he started to rearrange the bedding. He started to notice the absence of stuffed toys- yes, the delinquent Shizuo used to sleep with a cuddle toy, it was a blue bear in fact- the child’s nightlight and piles of books that used to litter about his old room. It seemed silly to think they would still be around, but maybe the lack of human presence in the room made it feel more like a prison cell than his brother’s room.

With a soft sigh, Kasuka flopped down onto the blanekts, wrapping his arms around the pillow. He supposed that seeing the state the bed was in was slightly reassuring to know Shizuo at least slept here, even if it felt like nobody lived here.

His eyes started to drift shut, aware that he’d been up late last night with filming, and would probably fall asleep if he didn’t start moving soon-

The clatter and bang of the front door jerked Kasuka’s eyes back open, and he groggily pulled himself up into a sitting position, arms still loosely holding the pillow. He’d dozed off after all, “In here,” he raised his voice so Shizuo could find him.

[tossingtrashcans]

Shizuo stopped and turned around then walked back and peeked into his bedroom finding his brother there he smiled at him lightly.

“I'll be right back. Let me put this away.” He pulled his head back and then headed for the kitchen. Putting things away, all but the sushi platters, he then walked back and slid the bedroom door the rest of the way open. He reached up and slid a smaller storage door open and then pulled out some blankets. Little did Shizuo know that the same blue bear that Kasuka has mention also fell out and landed just before Kasuka's feet.

Shizuo shifted around then laid the stack of blankets and bedding down. There was plenty of room for them to both lay out both sets of bedding and sleep in here. Almost like they were kids again.

“That way it's already for you. Whenever your ready for sle-” Shizuo cut off as he looked at Kasuka as he held the blue bear close. He had actually wondered where that bear went but gave up on looking for it in the other bedroom. A lot of his things from when he was younger was in that room. It was like he kept his childhood all boxed up. He was used to moving from place to place, trying to find a job. Working for Tom and staying here was the longest running thing he'd had in a long time, but he thought that the bear was gone.

He crouched down, laying a hand softly on Kasuka's leg before he moved it and lightly touched the bear's head before he spoke.

“Food's in the kitchen.” he said lightly, looking from his brother's eyes tot he bear. Almost seeming like the food didn't matter for the moment. He found himself thinking back to when he got the bear. It was one of those silly bowl in a fish bowl games at their middle schools festival. It was a bear that Kasuka had actually won and gave to him. He then wondered if Kasuka had the green bear that looked rather similar to it still. For he actually won that one by doing a ring toss game. It was one of the good days. A day he didn't have a broken limb, nor a day that he was become pissed off. He actually won the green bear on his first try then went to surprise Kasuka with it only to find he had a blue one for him.

Shizuo flinched a little at the sound of his stomach making a deep grumble noise. He then stood up and walked over tot he door and looked over his shoulder.

“Let's eat.” he said then walked out of the room and into the kitchen.