Tension

[UndergroundGod]

Shizuo groaned again and Izaya smiled faintly as his fingers tightened on Shizuo's hair. With their hips so firmly pressed together, Izaya could feel every twitch, so he could definitely feel Shizuo becoming… more alert as the kiss continued.

Then, quite suddenly, Shizuo pulled back—Izaya's first reaction was to go after him, but before he could so much as move his head, he heard Shizuo curse… then curse again and deny that this was actually happening and at that point Izaya knew it was over. There would be nothing he could do to save the situation. After all, he'd known this was coming. There was no way Shizuo was just going to ACCEPT that he was making out with the man he'd been threatening to kill for nearly a decade. It had just been a matter of when Shizuo would snap into that realization.

The man stepped away from him and Izaya propped himself back against the wall for the support. Shizuo told him he wanted his picture back, cursed once more, and then hurried out of his office as quickly as he could.

He left Izaya gasping for breath and wishing for more. His head dropped to his chest and he panted softly for another few moments until he finally caught his breath… though keeping his head from spinning was another matter entirely. Izaya did anything he could to just not think for a little while. At least… not think about anything other than the taste and feel of Shizuo's mouth and body against him. He wanted to put that to memory for access at a later point.

He'd need to figure out what he was going to do next.

For a moment he considered sending Shizuo a text to let him know that the picture was just very well-hidden in his own apartment… but if Shizuo wanted to wait until their next meeting to get it back, Izaya could wait until then too.

[tossingtrashcans]

It had been three days, no. It had to have been at least four. Four days since the heated make out in Izaya’s apartment, and really. There wasn’t anything else he could think about. The night he ran off, he had returned home and tried to mellow out and just forget everything. Sadly, it didn’t work as he had hoped. He just spent the rest of the evening thinking about him.

Shizuo was staring down at the cement sidewalk, not really hearing his boss. He jumped when Tom had snapped his fingers in front of his face, ‘Huh?” he questioned. Shizuo sighed, “I know Tom I know.” He said before Tom could say anything else. Sadly all Tom did was just wave at him and turn to walk away.

He had been so lost in thought he wasn’t even noticing what was all going on. Shizuo waved to his boss and stood there, his head right back into the thoughts. The thought of him pressing Izaya against the wall, the way Izaya tasted against his mouth. He was so deep in thought about remembering what happened, he had no idea who was going on behind him.

Shizuo growled and grumbled a bit as he started to head home. He dug around in his vest and pulled out his pack of cigarettes and pulled out one. He only stopped moving on the side walk to light it. He took a long drag from it, feeling himself relax as he put his lighter and smoke away. He looked around then headed off down the street. Just wanting to go home and relax.

[UndergroundGod]

After finally catching his breath, Izaya decided to head home for the evening. He took one last look around the office before turning his attention to the door. Thankfully, Shizuo busting through it hadn't done too much damage. The doorframe was partially cracked, but the door would still keep people out if he locked it, which was good enough. He would look into getting it fixed the next day.

On his way home, he tried not to relive the memory too much. After all, he had to stay somewhat alert of what was around him as he was walking defenselessly down the street. Once he got back to his apartment, though, all bets were off and he spent the next few hours going back to the memory of kissing Shizuo again and again.

Days passed. Izaya knew that he should give Shizuo time to think about what had happened, though he couldn't be sure how much… Izaya had never done anything like this before, he'd never stalked someone for this purpose, so he only had a vague clue as to how he should proceed. He knew he needed to see Shizuo again though. The man had been enjoying it just as much as he had; it was just a lot for someone like Shizuo to process, so Izaya needed to give him time to let the shock wear off.

Four days later, Izaya was ready to try again. After figuring out where Shizuo was, Izaya followed him from a distance until he saw the man getting excused by his boss. He began to trail him home, waiting for the perfect opportunity as he followed along back alleyways…

Finally, close to Shizuo's apartment, he saw the man finally put out his cigarette and saw his opportunity. He hurried ahead, ran down an alley that Shizuo was about to pass, and hid in the shadows until he saw Shizuo move by him… As soon as he did, he reached for the unsuspecting man, spinning to generate enough force to pull Shizuo into the alley, this time pressing Shizuo's back against the wall as he leaned into him, putting his hands on Shizuo's chest as he quipped, "Ah, fancy meeting you here~"

[tossingtrashcans]

Shizuo has just put the dead bud into his pocket when he suddenly felt someone grab him and yank him away. He went to step back, but couldn’t. He was pushed against the wall, but by… whom? He blinked and let his eyes focus the voice hardly audible.

“Izaya.” He breathed out, his eyes narrowing. “What are you doing?” he asked then started to push him back, feeling Izaya’s breath against his cheek. Oh god, he felt his heart flutter and his chest tighten. He knew he was breathing a bit deeper, just by standing there. As much as he tried to remain angry and upset with Izaya, he could. Not with that mouth so close to his.

Before he knew it he leaned in and claimed Izaya’s lips with his open, pushing his face against Izaya’s as he hummed softly. He pulled back and blinked, “Shit.” He muttered.

Shizuo growled then grabbed Izaya’s hips and rolled them around and pushed his body hard against Izaya’s body as he had him now against the alley wall. He leaned back in and hovered his mouth over Izaya’s, panting softly.

[UndergroundGod]

Izaya wondered at first if Shizuo would just push him away. Surely, Shizuo had felt some security in their positions the other night. With Izaya pinned against the wall, Shizuo had a certain amount of control over the situation, so even if they did the same things, Shizuo was more likely to feel trapped and panicked if he was the one against the wall.

And for a second, as the man asked what he was doing, Izaya thought the man might do just that and push him off… Instead, after a few seconds, the man leaned down and kissed him. Izaya, though a bit surprised that Shizuo had initiated it so quickly, eagerly returned the gesture until Shizuo pulled away with more cursing.

Then Shizuo growled and the feral sound made something in Izaya tremble, with delight, with excitement… he didn't know, but he did like it, and just a second later, Shizuo's hands were on his hips again and the man had switched their positions, moving into the position of power—which Izaya was surprisingly okay with. Though every instinct in Izaya's being should have screamed that being held against the wall by Shizuo Heiwajima was a BAD thing, it just wasn't. He wasn't scared or intimidated as Shizuo held him close. No, more than anything, having Shizuo hold him here… there was actually a sort of secure feeling in it, and the only way that would happen was if…

Impossibly, defying all logic, he trusted Shizuo.

He stared back up at Shizuo a moment as the man held him there, panting in time with him, though it was crazy that just one little kiss could have left him so breathless. His hands were still against Shizuo's chest and he gripped lightly at his shirt, silently asking him to stay where he was as he leaned up and kissed the corner of Shizuo's mouth.

[tossingtrashcans]

Shizuo hummed as he moved and gave him a far more direct kiss. He opened his mouth a bit and licked Izaya’s lips with his tongue as he stood there. Oh shit, what was he doing? He really had no idea. Well, no. He knew he just didn’t want to believe it. Here he was yet again, in a lip lock with Orihara. The damned prick, the jerk that just drug everyone down with him, what was he thinking? He shifted and pressed his body harder against him, waiting till he opened his mouth.

Once Izaya did Shizu’s tongue darted into his mouth and stated to explore it. Almost as if he was going to forget it tomorrow. He let the tip if his tongue brush against the roof of his mouth as he groaned a little. He had looked up some things online. He just hoped that it all worked.

His hands rested on his hips, under his coat, feeling the heat from his body, seep through the material of his shirt. Waiting for his reaction to what he was doing to him.

[UndergroundGod]

Izaya wasn't surprised that Shizuo turned the soft kiss around on him in favor of a direct kiss, in favor of swiping his tongue over his lips and asking for entrance; after all, soft kisses… were for couples, for lovers, for shy teenagers, for first dates, and for people who loved each other… and none of those categories fit them. To be honest, he wasn't sure if any category did.

It didn't stop Izaya from wanting to give Shizuo those soft sweet kisses, just made him realize that, for whatever they were now, they probably wouldn't be accepted.

Trying to stop thinking, Izaya parted his lips for the man and Shizuo's tongue darted inside, feeling and exploring his mouth again, though this time it seemed a bit more refined that before, a bit less sloppy, and Shizuo hands were on his hips under his coat and they felt hot. His tongue swirled around Shizuo's, darting back against his lips in the few times Shizuo's tongue let up and gave him the chance.

It was strange to feel like he could read Shizuo's thoughts but as they stood there kissing, Izaya thought he could taste Shizuo's apprehension. Clearly, Shizuo had no idea why he was kissing Izaya. He had no idea what he was doing, what motivations he had… he only knew that he had to. And while Izaya's motivations were so much more complicated than that, he'd accept this, whatever it was, for however long it lasted. All his life, he'd been saving everything for Shizuo's taking and Izaya wasn't so foolish as to turn something down just because he wasn't sure if Shizuo's heart was in the same place as him.

[tossingtrashcans]

Shizuo moved his body against Izaya's as he stood there. He slowly contuined to explore his mouth before he pulled away and panted. With a heavy pant he raised his hand then punched the wall. He pulled back and turned his back to Izaya. “Why are you doing this to me?” He asked and turned around too look over his shoulder.

“I can't focus on anything. All I think about is our bodies pressed together... and it pisses me off.” Shizuo said as he walked back over. He grabbed him by the collar, “What did you do to me? Why can't I forget you?” He said with a hard growl.

It didn't take him more then ten seconds of holding him against the wall before he let him go, cupped Izaya's cheek and leaned in, resting his forehead on Izaya's. For once, he just wanted to breath. He wanted answers. Answers that he'd been looking for since the first time that this little flea had kissed him.

[UndergroundGod]

While the man continued to kiss him, Izaya returned the gesture and was grateful for it. Shizuo's lips on his were so heady, such an incredible head rush. It left him weak, breathless, eager for more, and the heat of Shizuo's body looming over his was somehow a comfort through all of this.

The end was inevitable though, Izaya knew that.

It wasn't necessarily a surprised when Shizuo pulled away with that frustrated look on his face; the sound of Shizuo's fist connecting with the wall made his heart leap temporarily into his throat. Suddenly, Shizuo pulled away from him.

Izaya watched the man silently as he spoke—or maybe raved was a better word. Shizuo was obviously frustrated. Or he was at least confused, which made him feel frustrated, though hearing that Izaya had been the only thought on Shizuo's mind for the past few days made him ridiculously happy, even as the man grabbed roughly at his collar.

After his questions ended, the man's grip softened, his hand moved to cup Izaya's cheek tenderly, pressing their foreheads together in the gentlest way he'd ever done it. The sweetness of it, compared to the hard way he'd gripped him and kissed him, and the way his hands had touched him so forcefully… it was enough to make Izaya melt, to make his face soften at the warmth of Shizuo's hand on the skin.

His own hand rose up to mimic Shizuo's, pressing against the man's cheek, feeling that blonde hair brush against his fingers.

What was he supposed to tell him? Sure, Izaya could tell the truth, that… he'd loved Shizuo for years, that he'd… but no, he couldn't even begin to think about forming those words, there was no way he could say that to Shizuo. Even if the man didn't somehow hate him for it, or reject him completely, Izaya just… He couldn't possibly say anything like that to Shizuo.

So the question was, what would he say? What possible explanation or excuse could he give for this behavior, how was he supposed to explain himself to Shizuo?

Izaya opted to avoid the man's questions as much as he possibly could, settling only on answering the final one. He frowned softly, his fingers lightly stroking the man's cheek as he replied in a low voice, "Does it matter? You never could forget me."

[tossingtrashcans]

“That is the problem. I can't, I haven't why can't I? What did you do to me?” Shizuo said his voice louder then it was. With a soft breath he sighed then leaned up and kissed Izaya's forehead. Was he to blame for this? Didn't it take two people to cause such things? He had no idea where any of this was coming from. All because he had to go and kiss him, stupid kiss.

Shizuo moved his arm and pulled Izaya against his body and held him firmly against his frame. He buried his face against the brown hair and inhaled, why did he had to smell good too?

The blond man stood there in the alleyway for what felt like the longest while, holding his body close. It oddly felt... right. Even though it should, he knew it shouldn't. Course that didn't change the fact.

With a sigh he pulled away from Izaya and looked at him as both his hands cupped the mans face.

“Tell me how I can quit you.” He said softly then leaned in and pressed a far softer kiss against Izaya's mouth. Feeling his mouth against his was ever so intoxicating.

[UndergroundGod]

Izaya had thought that a right answer was impossible. He'd been half-sure that no matter what he said, it would have made Shizuo storm away, angry. Obviously, a scathing comment (something not uncommon from Izaya) would be bound to piss him off, but the true thing he'd just said really wasn't much better. Izaya had been sure that any words he's issued would piss Shizuo off; hell, he could have said nothing and he thought it frustrate the man just as much.

Of course, Shizuo was always so full of surprises.

Not only did the man not run away from him, but he… kissed Izaya forehead, his lips warm and soft, before enveloping him in a very firm hug.

Immediately, Izaya's heart began to pound, but he buried his face against Shizuo's chest to hide the soft pink color on his cheeks. A tiny voice inside of him was freaking out that he was ridiculously unsafe here in the arms of the man who had once promised to kill him, but he ignored it, knowing better. The one time when Izaya could read Shizuo was in a fight. He knew when a move was threatening and when it was harmless, and for now, he knew Shizuo wasn't dangerous.

Izaya took a brief second to wonder what someone passing by the alley might think. Hell, most of the people in the city knew who they were and if word got out that Shizuo Heiwajima and Izaya Orihara were caught embracing like this, Izaya could only imagine the rumors that would spread. Maybe someone would just think that Shizuo was smothering him or something.

He put those thoughts from his mind and focused on just being held.

Finally, Shizuo released him, the man's hands moving to his face and his mouth leaning in for a kiss, Izaya returned it, frowning softly at the man.

"Even if I knew how," he asked in a near whisper, his fingers brushing at the hair near Shizuo's collar as his lips hovered over Shizuo's, "I wouldn't want to tell you."

His mouth pressed forward against Shizuo's and though his words were probably risky, he knew the conversation was already operating on borrowed time. Might as well throw the statement out there and see what more there was to be had from this conversation. And Izaya at least felt some security in the thought that even if he did screw this up… Shizuo would have no choice but to come back for more.

[tossingtrashcans]

Shizuo huffed out a hard sigh. He pulled away from Izaya, letting the man stand there. He backed up far enough that his own back was pressed against the other side of the alley. He fished around in his pocket, staring at the man.

He pulled out his pack of cigarettes and shook it taking one from the pack with his mouth, the mouth that had just kissed Izaya. He slipped the pack away then pulled out his lighter. With somewhat shaking hands he struggled a little to light the end of it.

Shizuo inhaled deeply then puffed out the smoke as he closed his lighter and put that away too. He stood there, eyes never leaving the man as he felt his nerve begin to relax as the nicotine was inhaled into his body.

Reaching up with his hand, he took a hold of it. He sucked in once more then moved it from his mouth. He exhaled with a sigh. There was just so much in his head right now, the only way he could process shit was to just stand there and relax a little. He felt his hand shaking still, not nearly as bad as it was but bad enough for hims to notice.

Shizuo took another hit, “So what the hell do you suggest we do now?” He asked as he exhaled and lowered his arm down. His eyes narrowed hard on Izaya, waiting.

[UndergroundGod]

Shizuo ended the kiss after only brief moment and at that point pulled away completely. The man leaned back against the wall of the alleyway and Izaya mimicked his body language, watching Shizuo casually from four feet away, eyeing the man's hands and lips as he pulled out a cigarette and smoked it thoughtfully.

Izaya's eyes had a hard time leaving Shizuo's lips as the cigarette dangled from them between drags. All he wanted was to taste that mouth again, to have Shizuo's body pressed up against his, but he knew better than to try and make Shizuo ditch the cigarette. He could see the tension melting from the man's shoulders, could see the tremor easing from Shizuo's hands as he got his fix.

After Shizuo took a few drags from the cigarette, he finally spoke… though Izaya had no idea what to tell him. He hadn't really mapped this thing out, and he certainly hadn't expected any sort of introspective questions from Shizuo. Again, he sort of felt the question was a trap that he had no choice but to walk into. Honestly, any conversation with Shizuo was as safe as walking through a mine field and very few people (only Kasuka, as far as Izaya could tell) could navigate their way safely through it; this conversation in particular felt like it could explode at any moment, so ultimately, Izaya wasn't sure if there was even a point in trying to be cautious.

As Shizuo's gaze fell on him, Izaya's gaze moved away, looking up towards the sky. The sun was slowly drifting towards the horizon, and though it was still bright, the edges of the city were beginning to grow orange and dusky.

All he could do in response was give a little shrug and reply, "Whatever the hell we want to."

[tossingtrashcans]

Shizuo nodded then took another drag before he dropped it and smothered it. He leaned over and picked it up pushing it into his pocket. He then walked over to Izaya. He braced his hand on the wall next to his head and leaned in his mouth hovering close to Izaya's. Is body pressed slightly against the smaller males.

'What if. I don't know what I want to do.” He said softly, “But I know one thing.” He added then closed the distance and kissed him softly. He pulled his face back and closed his mouth.

He felt calmer but was rather cautious about his breath. He knew that Izaya wasn't a smoker so it wasn't rather fair to make out with him again and force him to taste the nicotine in his mouth. To bad he left his mints at home.

Instead he rested his head against Izaya's and stood there like that for a while, taking in the warmth and feel of Izaya's body against his. It was a rather nice feeling, not that he'd admit it out loud. There was no way he was going to say that out loud. Hell, he couldn't even say that he wanted to kiss him again out loud.

Shizuo shoved the thoughts aside and closed his eyes then kissed Izaya's forehead before he moved his head back and looked at the brunette.

[UndergroundGod]

Izaya's sights remained on the sky until the sound of footsteps pulled his attention back to the man across the alley. He wore a carefully guarded expression as Shizuo approached him again, even though watching Shizuo walking towards him like that was enough to drive him crazy. He was good at hiding it—he had to be. The heat of Shizuo looming over him was delicious, addicting and after a few words left Shizuo's mouth, the man kissed him again.

It was a soft kiss and Shizuo smelled and tasted of tobacco, but Izaya couldn't care less. If tobacco really bothered him, he probably would have found a way to make Shizuo quit a long time ago.

Shizuo pressed their heads together lightly and they stood there quietly for a long moment as Izaya waited to see if Shizuo would finish that train of thought. His hand moved back up to Shizuo's chest, resting softly against it, patient and quiet and savoring the moment, until finally Shizuo kissed his head again and pulled back.

Izaya looked up to the taller man with a softly inquisitive smile on his lips. "And what's that?"