Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2011 0:32:23 GMT -5
Shizuo noticed it first with that Akane/taser/Awakasu incident. It wasn’t a joke or a passing though. It was the unholy seed to his current train of thought – “Is Izaya sick of living?”
It was a grim thought and he had dismissed it… at first. Silly, really. Orihara Izaya loved the world. He loved humanity. He loved life.
Though, part of him wondered if that was even true…. And then there was that hit his favorite information broker put out for his favorite bodyguard. 40 million yen. At first, Shinra passed that off as Izaya being… Izaya. After all, he and their mutual high school companion had always been trying to kill each other.
It was three days ago when it really sunk in that something was wrong – horribly, horribly wrong. Izaya came to Shinra with a fractured wrist and an evasive attitude. Shinra asked questions – “How did this happen?” “Who did this?” “Was it Shizuo?” “What did you do this time?” “Are you doing something dangerous?” “Why won’t you answer me?” – and Izaya… didn’t answer them – “This and that.” “Someone.” “Maybe.” “You wound me, Shinra.” “….” “….” The next day, Shinra called Shizuo. And oh, was he talkative. Izaya this, Izaya that….
Izaya putting himself in danger.
What else could you call watching Shizuo fight off various gangs and mercenaries from up-close opposed to his trademark stalking from the rooftops. And taunted Shizuo. While Shizuo was adrenaline high from fighting already. And angry. And armed. That was for a whole month.
The day Izaya came in with a fractured wrist, Shizuo had suffered first degree burns. Ikebukuro’s strongest had caught up with the eldest Orihara sibling and the rest Shinra could piece together. He had to, seeing as Shizuo’s phone went dead, presumably smashed between his fingers.
Shinra was at a loss for words. Izaya had never been this reckless before. He had been reckless, yes. But never this reckless. You don’t play with Heiwajima Shizuo without taking the necessary precautions. To do so was suicide.
…Or maybe that’s what Izaya wanted.
Shinra flopped down on his couch, screaming into the cushions. The mind of Orihara Izaya was a mystery. He couldn’t make heads or tails of his friend’s actions. Izaya knew better than to do something this stupid, this dangerous, so why was he doing it? Did he finally want to turn Shizuo into a murderer?
….That’s too high a price to pay for a little mind play, Izaya. Shinra pulled at his hair. There was no way Izaya could be suicidal! He was a happy man! He smiled all the time! Ha had hobbies! Entertained himself! He got out of the house! He was always optimistic, in his own sick way, and he never felt guilty about anything! He’s devoted to his work and not distracted in anyway….
And he’s lonely.
Shinra released his hair. Izaya spent most of his time alone…. It was possible that he could have an acute form of depression, reaching out to the only form of human contact offered to him on a regular basis, wanting to make a real connection, face to face. Even if it put himself at risk.
Shinra hopped up off the couch and paced. Of course, it was always possible that was the wrong diagnosis. After all, he only assumed Izaya spent his time alone. He wasn’t with him. There could be a whole ‘nother problem pushing Izaya into these risky actions. He could be receiving threats, or doing drugs, or having family issues. The options were too widespread and impossible to pinpoint even a radius of possibilities, especially with Izaya’s erratic actions towards everything ever known to man. There was really only one way to figure out what was going on. Get Izaya to tell him.
Well, that wasn’t going to happen, but he could draw a conclusion based on his answers to other questions the information broker would be more willing to give up. But how would he get him to st-
A positively wicked grin spread across Shinra’s face. “Celty! Celty, Celty! I need your help with something!”
oo00OO00oo
His dialed Izaya’s number. After a few rings, his friend picked up. “Izaya! Hey! I just had the best idea ever! Why don’t you come over and we can have a special hotpot party, just the two of us? What do you say, buddy? Pleeeeeease? <3 “
|
|
|
Post by UndergroundGod on Dec 6, 2011 23:22:17 GMT -5
After three days, his apartment had grown quite boring. There was nothing on television besides talks shows, soap operas, and reruns of cartoons he'd already watched a million times. He didn't have any good books to read (holding books with one hand was quite uncomfortable anyway), and there were, honestly, only so many games he actually wanted to play on the internet—he'd run out of them over a day ago.
The television was on now, but Izaya wasn't really watching it. He was lying out flat on the couch, under a thick fleece blanket in his pajamas, feeling listless. Since he'd broken his wrist, he hadn't done much of anything that required leaving his apartment. Shinra had told him to take it easy, after all. Izaya couldn't do his normal set of flips and twists and jumps to evade people with his wrist fractured the way it way and so… it was just safer to stay indoors, even if that meant going stir crazy.
Of course, it wasn't just that he was following Shinra's advice… but his fur-lined jacket wouldn't fit on over the cast, and he got cold too easily to go out without it. Plus it… just felt weird. He'd been wearing the jacket for years now, so he felt strange going anywhere without wearing it.
So he hadn't left his apartment in three days. Instead, he'd been spending his time moving from the couch to the bed and back again, wandering around his apartment in a daze from the drugs Shinra had given him for the pain. He remembered eating at some point, but couldn't remember the last time he'd done it… he remembered taking a bath too (and the aggravation of wrapping his arm in plastic to seal the cast), though not when. Or maybe he'd actually been in his apartment for more than three days? He hadn't really been keeping track of the time, and the blinds throughout the apartment were closed tight, muting the coming and going of daylight.
Either way, he wanted to do… something, and yet he didn’t want to do anything, which was a ridiculous contradiction. Or maybe he just didn't want to do anything of the things he thought were in the realm of possibility.
He let out a long sigh, stretching his arms up above his head and holding the casted arm next to the healthy one. It was wrapped in blue, though it looked black in the dim lighting of the living room. Shinra had tried to lighten the mood of the visit by asking to sign it, but Izaya had denied him.
It would look stupid to only have Shinra write on it, and Izaya knew no one else would.
Just as Izaya was considering bathing again, his phone rang on the coffee table next to him.
He reached for it… realized he was doing so with his casted hand, and then sat up to grab the phone properly. He raised an eyebrow when he saw it was Shinra, but answered anyway.
The man's voice on the other end of the phone was much too enthusiastic for Izaya's mood and he nearly winced at the volume and excitement in his voice over the phone.
But… what he offered… it actually made Izaya smile. Izaya remembered the party months ago that Shinra had invited nearly everyone except him to. Izaya would never admit it, but he'd been hurt when Shinra did that. Shinra was supposed to have been his one actual friend and yet had completely excluded him. Izaya had felt a lingering loneliness since then… and it certainly hadn't helped when he'd been stabbed, and been in the hospital, and his only source of human contact had been Shinra… but the man had ignored his phone calls, over and over. It was why Izaya had so willingly just been lying around today, and hadn't even thought of trying to contact someone.
To be frank, Izaya was a bit scared that the one actual friendship he had was crumbling, but now… well, having Shinra invite him over actually made him happy, which was a mood he'd recently lost track of.
Not that any of that was something Izaya would be willing to admit to anyone. That pain, those insecurities, they were only feelings he could have while completely alone, holed up in his apartment and safe from prying eyes.
Izaya played coy, but not for long, and after a few words were exchanged, he agrees to head over to Shinra's later that afternoon for food.
Meanwhile, Izaya tried to pull himself together. He wrapped up his arm and showered, then afterwards dug though his closet to find a short sleeve shirt and a black fleece hooded jacket that was baggy enough to fit comfortably around the cast. He hadn't worn it in years, but he supposed it would do.
A few hours later, his normal grin was back on his lips and he headed out the door and over to Shinra's, knocking lightly on the door once he'd arrived.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2011 19:25:06 GMT -5
Shinra had to prepare a lot of things before Izaya arrived.
The hotpot. He set to work cooking the hotpot. Shinra wasn’t a bad cook, but it was a lot of work by himself. He was also distracted by his plans for the evening. He had to get Izaya out of his shell. He’d have to be as subtle as possible….
But subtlety wasn’t going to get him very far.
That’s where Celty came in.
The minute Izaya closed the door to his apartment, it would be impossible to leave without Celty’s OK.
Shinra spilt his bag of carrots and he scrambled to pick them up, sighing. Dealing with Izaya’s phycosis was going to be a challenge, to be sure, but he’ll try to make Izaya as… physically comfortable as possible. He was his friend, after all. This was for his benefit… after all….
Shinra stirred the hotpot. He smiled to himself. Surely this was the best thing for Izaya.
He heard the knocking on his door and smiled. “Celty~! Can you get that?”
Celty went to the door, opening it for Izaya.
|
|
|
Post by UndergroundGod on Dec 17, 2011 22:32:28 GMT -5
He only had to wait outside the door for a moment before it was opened. Izaya grinned a bit more to see Celty on the other side, and he greeted the headless rider cheerily, "Celty~ how are you?"
She typed up a quick response on her phone, telling him she was fine and inviting him inside.
The second he walked into the apartment, he could smell the food cooking and he inhaled deeply. It smelled… wonderful. The apartment was warm and inviting and actually being near PEOPLE (even if those people were a dullahan and a crazy underground doctor) for the first time in days was actually a sincere relief. Plus… since he couldn't remember when his last meal was, the scent of food wafting through the apartment was mouth-watering and there was something comforting about walking into an apartment filled to the brim with the smell of homemade food.
He actually felt the tense feeling that had been constricting his chest for weeks now loosen a bit, and he took another breath. The air came easier that time.
Izaya walked deeper into the apartment, heading towards the kitchen, where his doctor-friend was cooking. Leaning back against the counter nearby, he chimed, "Shinra, it smells delicious."
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2012 19:19:43 GMT -5
Shinra looked up when he heard Izaya’s voice and smiled brightly. “Why thank you, Izaya-kun,” he grinned, stirring the pot. “Take a seat, take a seat~! I’m almost done!”
Shinra smiled, stirring his pot and sniffing it. Oh, it did smell good. But not as good as Celty’s cooking! Celty had the best cooking, best cooking EVER. She made foods that should have existed only in heaven!
But he rarely got to eat it because she was always so sure it was awful and would take it away… violently.
He wanted to eat Celty’s cooking!
Speaking of Celty, she walked into the kitchen and typed onto her phone, showing it to Shinra. [Now?]
He nodded. “Yup! Oh, Izaya, Celty’s going to the store. Do you want any – okay, and… there… she goes….”
Celty walked out the door, shutting it behind her.
It was a good thing it was dark, or Izaya might have noticed the windows black out.
Shinra smiled at Izaya. “Would you like to eat now?” Shinra got on his tip toes and pulled down some bowls.
|
|
|
Post by UndergroundGod on Jan 10, 2012 20:44:40 GMT -5
Though Izaya would have been happy to stand by and watch Shinra finish preparing the meal, he was particularly susceptible to suggestion at the moment, so when Shinra told him to take a seat, Izaya moved towards a chair at the table, where he sat down. He settled back into the chair, the soft smile lingering on his lips as he watch Celty cross the room to join Shinra in the kitchen.
Izaya wondered vaguely how and when he would tell the both of them that he had Celty's head. Shinra had confessed that he had talked Celty into not looking for it any longer… but not looking for something you didn't know the whereabouts of and merely reclaiming something from a known location… they weren't the same thing. It seemed as though Shinra didn't really want Celty to find her head, for fear it would take her away from him, so Izaya liked to tell himself at times that he was actually doing Shinra a favor by keep the head safe and out of Celty's reach.
Just a moment later, Celty headed out the door, but Izaya was too busy just watching Shinra in the kitchen to notice anything about his surroundings that might have changed.
"Sure," Izaya said, "I'm famished." He wouldn't mention that it was because he couldn't remember eating that day… or when he had eaten the day before.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2012 21:48:09 GMT -5
“I can tell,” Shinra said, placing the bowl in front of Izaya. He poked him in the side. “I want you weighed, dude. In my professional opinion, you look underweight.”
He sat next to him, digging into food. “How are you~? It’s been so long~!” he smiled at him, “I can’t believe I haven’t seen my best friend in… how long?” he swallowed his cooking. He chewed, giving Izaya his ‘tell-me-your-deepest-secrets-because-I-is-cute-puppy’ eyes.
Seeing Izaya, he was even more worried for his friend. He WAS underweight. He wasn’t sure when the last time Izaya ate was. The raven haired male was thin and his clothes didn’t quite fit like they used to. Shinra wanted to feed him twelve main courses. Complete with dessert.
Another part of him wanted to reach out and hold Izaya tight and close. He felt like such a bad friend, ignoring him like that for so long.
He had to make it up to him.
|
|
|
Post by UndergroundGod on Jan 10, 2012 22:43:33 GMT -5
When Shinra poked him and mentioned his weight, Izaya jumped and then frowned a little. The doctor was right, of course. Izaya didn't weigh himself regularly or anything, but… there was probably a good chance he was underweight, if not very close. He'd always been slim and athletic, but over the past month or two, the clothes that had fit him for years were getting looser. He had been wearing his belt two notches tighter than normal just to keep his pants up.
It was because he hadn't been eating. Not enough, anyway. He was down to maybe two small meals a day, eating less than he ever had, mostly because he just wasn't hungry. Usually every time he was confronted with the prospect of food… he decided he'd rather be doing something other than eating.
The food Shinra set in front of him smelled so delicious though, to the point that it made him mouth water a little. Shinra immediately began to eat, and Izaya joined him. The warmth of the food slipping down his throat almost made him shiver a little bit, but the warmth and the weight of the food felt good in his stomach.
And Shinra was right, it had been a very long time since they'd hung out.
"Well, I saw you three days ago," he commented lightly, referring to having Shinra cast his wrist just a few days ago, then he knew that wasn't what Shinra had meant. He continued with a light smile, "But yeah, it's been a while since we hung out. I guess it's not like high school anymore where we could spend every other afternoon screwing around. How are you? How's everything going with Celty?"
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2012 23:07:09 GMT -5
Shinra poked Izaya’s forhead, pouting like a child. “You know that’s not what I meant! That’s woooork. We never hang out just because anymore,” Shinra sighed, downing some of his food, “It’s definitely not like high school….. And I’m fine. I’m not bed ridden, so that’s a plus.” He laughed, leaning back in his seat, “Celty and I are good…. She’s as beautiful as ever, and I just love it when she’s around. Ooooh, part of me wishes we could have kids~! But that’s probably biologically impossible, not to mention my occupation would put them at risk if we had any, so that’s a no…. Aaah, it’s really too bad!” he took a bit of his food. He had to set this up carefully…. “It gets real quiet around here sometimes…. Like, sometimes work is low, like, for some reason those stupid gangs take a week off from killing each other, and nobody comes in, and then Celty’s aaaaalways got a job to do, so she’s out on the town at night and sometimes during the day now… its just… quiet,” he sighed dramatically, leaning on his elbow, cheek in his hand and he cast Izaya a puppy-dog look, “Izaya-kun… do you ever get lonely?”
|
|
|
Post by UndergroundGod on Jan 10, 2012 23:56:29 GMT -5
Izaya's face scrunched as Shinra poked his forehead; it was proof of how close he was to Shinra, really. There weren't many people he'd let get away with touching him so casually, teasing him like that. Honestly, there weren't many people Izaya would ask how they were and actually care about the answer. The fact that he actually listened to Shinra's answer, and he was actually… happy for him, was more evidence than any that Izaya still cared for Shinra. The doctor always had been Izaya's one real friend, even if they'd been going through a bit of a rough patch lately.
Eating slowly as Shinra talked, Izaya nodded here and there to show he was listening. Of course, Izaya knew how to get Shinra talking, as Celty had always been Shinra's favorite topic.
As unconventional as Shinra's love life was, he'd always had the most conventional hopes for it, though Izaya supposed that was normal. Shinra wanted a wife and children; he wanted a happy family. Most people did. Whether it was finding true love or raising beautiful, healthy children, most people envisioned a future for themselves that didn't involve being alone. Shinra was no different in his hopes, though it was good that he was at least being practical. Izaya also doubted that Shinra and Celty could conceive, and even if they were to adopt… well, they would need a slightly safer lifestyle to ensure the child wouldn't fall into harm's way.
Shinra was still young though. He and Celty had years before they really had to decide if and when they would bring kids into their home.
Izaya had just finished swallowing a bite of his food when Shinra looked at him with innocent eyes and asked him a question…
And Izaya's heart jumped into his throat, his gaze turned immediately towards his food, unable to look at Shinra as he forced back a painful surge of the very loneliness that Shinra was talking about. He took a few even breaths, poker-faced through the passing emotion, though if Shinra could see inside his head, he'd see the drastic thought whizzing by at a mile a minute as he remembered exactly how lonely he was. He was surrounded by an entire city full of people, but…
There were so few people he had regular contact with, and it wasn't as though he hung out with anyone. Namie hated him; Shiki found him useful; Dotachin was probably annoyed by him; Simon never trusted him; and pretty much everyone else was little more than a pawn. Out of all of them, Shinra was his only friend and they had barely spoken to each other over the last six months.
And Shizuo… Shizuo…
Thirty seconds, maybe less, was all it took for him to force back the pain and think of an answer he could actually share with Shinra, because there were no circumstances under which he'd be able to truthfully answer his question.
"I'm surrounded by thousands and thousands of people on a daily basis," he said whimsically, smiling as he prodded at his food. "There's never any time for that. You know, it must be nice having days off when no one needs to you stitch something up or rearrange someone's face. Are you still reading biology text books in your spare time or have you finally memorized every single one in Japan?"
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 12, 2012 21:48:43 GMT -5
Shinra watched as the expressions on Izaya’s face changed. Slightly, but it was there. There was something wrong and he knew it.
He was lonely.
Shinra smiled, trying not to look like he noticed. When Izaya finally replied, he rested his chin in both hands, looking off into the distance, supposedly.
“You would think. Really, it’s just a little too quiet, though. You kind of get used to the noise and the drama…. I bet you would feel lonely if you didn’t always have people around…. Sorry if I disturbed your work, by the way,” Shinra spooned himself some more of his food, “I don’t read biology books anymore,” he confessed, trying to keep up the appearance that this was a normal conversation and not an intervention, “I sometimes watch Celty’s movies…. She likes ones with aliens. Some of them are really scary, though! I don’t understand why she feels the need to see them, they scare her to bits…”
|
|
|
Post by UndergroundGod on Jan 12, 2012 22:35:20 GMT -5
Izaya felt a bit relieved when Shinra let the topic become casual again. He wasn't sure where Shinra's question about loneliness had come from; it had seemed so… random and serious, not matter what sort of lighthearted face Shinra used while asking it.
He wasn't sure why, but in spite of the topic change, Izaya felt a certain sense of foreboding overshadowing the conversation now. He tried to swallow the feeling, and tuck it away, but now a tiny bit of anxiety was niggling at the back of his mind.
Taking a bite of his food, he forced himself to calm down.
"Horror movies are fantastic, that's why," Izaya replied with a knowing grin, forcing away his unease and just focusing on talking to Shinra like a normal person might, and trying to actually enjoy their time together. Who knew when Shinra might actually invite him over like this again, after all. "You know I own every scary movie they've released in the last ten years. If you or Celty are ever looking for a movie, you can always ask. Though really, I'm still amazed that Celty can even watch movies, considering."
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 15, 2012 8:58:51 GMT -5
“Oh, we’d love to borrow a movie!” Shinra grinned, “Maybe we could all watch it!” He smiled at him, tilting his head to the side, “We’d love to have some company. Or… I guess I would.” He grinned. “I bet you could appreciate the cinematography. Celty just screams and clings to me, which is awesome! But still, sometimes I want to discuss a movie after and she just wants to board up the windows.” He chuckled, leaning back in his seat.
This would be tricky. How to get Izaya to talk about his feelings? Shinra wasn’t exactly a psychiatrist and this wasn’t exactly a voluntary therapy session… what to do, what to do….
Shinra leaned back in his seat, looking up at the ceiling. “….Shizuo doesn’t come around as much anymore….”
That was a risky statement. Izaya was likely to throw a fit and storm out from the mere mention of his rival. But it was all Shinra had to ignite conversation!
((haha! I responded! Huzzah! ....no, seriously, coming up with something Shinra could possibly respond with to get them back to Izaya's mindset was what took so long. If this was real life, Shinra would have sat there for hours and Izaya would get creeped out and go the fuck home. <///<))
|
|
|
Post by UndergroundGod on Feb 15, 2012 20:45:22 GMT -5
Izaya couldn't help but smile a bit wider at Shinra implied invitation. It had been months since he a Shinra had hung out. He supposed that ever since the days he'd been in the hospital with that stab wound and Shinra had ignored his calls… well, he just hadn't made the effort. If Shinra was going to repeatedly ignore him, Izaya had no desire to continue to make that effort and be ignored, so he'd left the ball in Shinra's court. As close as he actually felt to Shinra… that closeness had certainly dwindled over the past few months, and Izaya had no idea how he was supposed to reclaim it.
But having Shinra seem to want to have him around again… felt good.
They spent the next few minutes talking about movies, about what Shinra had seen and what he hadn't, about what movies he thought looked good and getting Izaya's opinions on them. They narrowed down a few movies titles that Izaya could maybe bring over sometime in the next week, and then talked about some movies that were forthcoming that looked good.
After spending about fifteen minutes eating and exhausting the topic, Izaya eventually became at ease again. Izaya was mostly finished his food by the time the conversation had died down, and he'd just moved to take his final bite after a period of silence when Shinra spoke again.
Izaya's hand paused a few inches above his plate, but at Shinra's words, he frowned and decided that he really was finished, then set his silverware down. His eyes were focused on his plate was he responded softly, "Well… Shizu-chan has been busy lately."
|
|