Why Should I Worry

[Deleted]

Kida kind of just looked at Shizuo while he mulled over his last piece of sushi. He hadn't bothered touching his soup yet; unlike Shizuo's, hit was a bit warm due to the nature of the sauce.

A party without him was what started it. Izaya's cruel nature left him out of a party at Shinra's place. Then, after that, if he had gotten the story correct, Shinra was outright tortured right under Izaya's nose and he didn't even hear what was happening until Shinra was left bleeding to die on his own floor. Not to mention that little incident that left Izaya coming home and going straight to bed without a word to any of them that had gathered in his apartment.

To be honest, he wasn't quite sure that Izaya even wanted to hear about parties right now, to even think about people.

"I wouldn't say that, my girlfriend seemed to love him enough once." He now turned to his soup, last bit of sushi eaten. "I'm just...not sure how Izaya would go for one. Until Shinra's up and moving again, I don't think he even wants any proof of humanity's kindness. That guy really fucked him up."

But that was still no excuse to set him on fire like a fucking Blue Square would, Mikado, not when you're a Dollar at the very center.

[tossingtrashcans]

Shizuo looked up from his plate, there was only three pieces left on it, “Listen here you little shit. Don't tell me about what kind of condition Shinra is in, I know. I go and see him once every week, now tell me how many times has that inconsiderate prick gone to see him huh? How many times has he helped Shinra to the toilet because he doesn't want to bother Celty.” He narrowed his eyes, his fist balled.

“You know what. I am sorry I even mentioned it. Izaya can go and jump off the tallest skyscraper without a parachute. The jerk has done nothing but yank around everyone’s chain. Good riddance.” He said and then reached out and popped two of the sushi pieces into his mouth and chewed somewhat anger. He really had no idea why he cared about someone that clearly didn't even care about himself.

“After you are done, you can leave and we can pretend this never happened.” he said not looking up as he ate the other piece of sushi.

[Deleted]

The sudden outburst did have Kida's back flush against the furthest edge of his seat, legs not working, not wanting to move lest it only pissed him off more.

He's felt fear before, so this wasn't a new sensation, the ice cold feeling washing over his body like there was nothing between him and the strongest man in Ikebukuro, because as far as logic stated, there might as well be nothing.

He only relaxed when Shizuo's fists relaxed and told him him to forget everything and that they could just pretend that this never happened. Unfortunately, that wasn't just that easy. if it wasn't, he could just conveniently forget everything else in his life. He could forget that his parents probably hadn't even noticed what he's been doing, that his best friend wasn't himself anymore...

These things stuck out like a sore thumb to him, and so will this. Shizuo clearly hasn't pieced everything together yet, and that was madness in itself. Had he truly not been able to realize that Izaya...

He watched Shizuo focusing on his sushi and sighed, voicing the thing that everyone has been dancing around since the beginning of their employment with this insane, now suicidal man that technically had every single bridge in the city burned and probably not a single string on his finger, aside from one.

"If you don't come, the party's not going to do any good. He loves you, you know."

Well, somebody had to say it, and if he had to be the bad guy, he would be. It felt like he was playing that role a lot lately.

[tossingtrashcans]

“You are bat shit Kida.” Shizuo said then moved around. “This.. here is over.” He said reaching out and pinking up his milk and finishing it. He stood up and nodded to him, “Do whatever you need to, just leave me out of it.” He said.

“Nice having dinner with you.” Shizuo said then nodded to him and slid the door open, then shut. He walked over to the counter paid for his and Kida's meals then left. He needed to pick up some more smokes and milk on his way home.

With his hands in his pockets he headed down the street. There was no way that, that bastard loved him. Kida was out of his freaking mind. Cutting someone and framing them for shit was not a sign of love. He loved his parents, and his brother. That was love, wanting to beat Izaya's face in at the site of him, that wasn't love.

The vending machine dodging eskimo wasn't worthy of love, cause all he did was torment the shit out of people and cause them pain. Shizuo knew that, he knew that rather well. There was no way that Izaya Orihara was capable of love anyone or anything other then himself.

[Deleted]

He watched Shizuo finish his milk while he mulled over what Shizuo said in his head. Yes, he could easily bet that it sounded crazy. That would probably come out sounding a lot like something like someone telling him that Izumi had loved him.

Oh, that person would not be walking out of there, because that person didn't know the wonders of what love truly was and Kida would only wish to be able to teach that person, but they were clearly too far gone to even begin trying to waste his breath explaining.

"Thank you for paying, it was nice to finally get to talk to you." Maybe there was some way they could do this more often, now the ice was broken. Shizuo, when it came down to it, had been a gentle person, if you sat and talked to him like a person and not a monster.

Kida has seen monsters. He's worked with them. There were monsters at the office, asking Izaya when she can see "Takashi Takashi Takashi Takashi" again, sharpening a knife and glaring his and Saki's direction, or just staring among the chaos with a cold stare, wondering who was going to break this truce first.

There were monsters on the street, getting plastic surgery and avoiding him at every turn, cornering him in alleyways and threatening a fate worse than death on Saki, even crawling into the corners of innocent people's minds and making them do things they would never do.

Hell, there were even monsters in his own head, telling him to turn around and leave, never come back, that this city was no longer worth fighting for. That Mikado has given up on him, so he should give up on Mikado. That Anri was not enough reason to hold on to this past. That he and Saki are only together because, as she so quaintly put it, "Izaya said so."

But Shizuo was not a monster. Neither was Izaya. When it came down to everything, the two bled just like everybody else does. They weren't intangible, they weren't stuff of his nightmares.

He drained his cup of tea, staring at the ceiling for a while. What else was he supposed to do? He didn't blame Shizuo for not believing him, and Kida himself would even tell Shizuo that he was insane if he loved Izaya back. But something in his mind, monster or not, told him that maybe, just maybe, if Izaya wasn't feeling so isolated, that could save this city from Jinnai. They just had to work together against the true monster.

Sighing, he closed the door and bade Simon and Dennis a cheerful goodbye, mask back in place. He considered calling Mikado, just to see if, maybe, this time he would answer his phone.

This time he managed to make it to one ring before he hung up and started walking. Wandering always helped him think.